Sleepless night

Finally, i had completed my first semester in KDU for pre-law program n now i moved back to kepong already... Never ever back to that House-ss2,Pj-... I miss that house so much coz there was the only place i can live for the last few months...

It's 3am now... I could not sleep ... I guess i just miss that room too much n miss someone so so so much....

We din chat much almost two weeks... I think more than 2weeks...Because i was sitting for my exams last few weeks, when i finished exam it's is his turn again........ We don't have much time to chat... He is busy with his revision~

N me, i starts to go shopping n hang out with friends... This is what i waited for long time... But, i still miss him so much whenever n wherever i go... Unfortunately, i can't find him to chat like b4...
I got lots of things to share... I have to wait until he is free....

Sometimes, i feel that we spent too least time with each other... I don't like this situation... But i try to be understandable person.. Exam is important for me n for him as well.... So, i should not disturb him for this 2weeks.. I hope he can focus more on his studies n do well on his exam!

We've been together for 6 months... I appreciated this relationship so much but how about u?? what i feel is we still at the same point,seem never move forward... is this true? or i'm the one who think too much or hoping too much from him?? I hope to tell or ask him... But , i don't think now is the suitable time to ask coz he need to sit for exam...

Sometimes, i do think of giving up this relationship... I don't know why.... Not because of i don't love him.. He is really good.... Only sometimes, i feel so strange with him... Especially when i saw his photos with his friends n his life there....He has a good life there... I feel like we r from diff world... But when i web cam or chat with him, i feel happy n sweet enough.... What's the problem actually?

Never ever tell anyone about this... Because i know this is between me n him... Should i tell him?

Wish to meet him as soon as possible... I miss u... We only have few weeks time to spend with each other... Too short for me... When we can meet again? a year or few years later???

I know that i tell him b4 that i don't mind far from him... n we feel that distance is not a problem for us... n now everything seems diff already...I have no confident on myself... I feel that i will lost him one day... n it seems very soon...

He changed me lots... n i learned lots from him... I realized that toleration n trust r very important between couple esp for those who r far from each other.. During this 6months, we tolerate to each other... Maybe sometimes, i did show my temper to him but one thing for sure, he never did this to me... N forgiveness also important....

we r stable n don't have any couple problem ... but haih.....
i hope to hear from him about me... i wish to improve myself n i want to know what he feel about our relationship...I hope we can maintain..
But i never hear any from him... Are we really good enough now??

Sorry~ If i hurt u when u read this... This is only what i feel ~

I still love u like before n MISS U very much T.T

Although u r busy with ur exams, but u told me that i'm always in ur heart=) N i wish to let u know that u never disappear from my mind .. U r always in my mind n heart ......

-Relieve-

Exams are over !! Went to One U n had dinner with colleagues but quite disappointing coz yulie left me alone there... All my close friends are not there... Luckily, others r very friendly n nice ... I was chatting with them n took some photos.. Although it is a simple gathering but i'm enjoy n happy! I leave earlier because i'm going back by taxi n i'm alone so i can't stay too long... =( Anyway, I'll miss all of them during this two months holiday... Miss ya all my friends=)

Once i reached home, i feel so sick! Headache, flu, coughing n etc... Fortunately, exams r over... I think i should have a good rest... But i still have alots to do! Packing my things n moving out from here! Busy going out with friends too!haih.....
I received dad's call n n he asked me about my dinner n exam just now... What i can say is everything is fine =) After that, i talked to mum about my dinner with friends n i really enjoy it! I knew mum feel happy too! This is because last monday i lost control n cried very hard ~ Mum is the one who accompany me whole night through phone...

This is the 1st time i cried very hard since i was staying alone here... I don't why i can't control my tears that day... I talked to mum about my life during last few months... I keep telling her that i'm tired, i really tired of everything here...Esp without anyone of them here... But i still have my bro who cares me lots... Honestly, i could not focus on study 100% if my life continue like how i passed this few months... I'm glad that no matter how tough it is, i still can get through with it n complete my 1st semester finally... No one knows how my life here, it's not easy to tell by words too...Anyway, I learned alots~ From don't know, scare, cant get use, to Know, brave n get use....

When dad was here, i feel like i'm a little girl again, not the one who can manage her own things n life like before... He is really great n indeed a good father~ Maybe he is one of the reason why i was crying that day... haha... I don't want to stay far from dad even a minute... Even though i back to my house in pj already, n dad in kepong is not too far from pj too, but still he keep calling me few times per day like what he had done when he was in SDK...

Every time i saw his calls, i pretended that i'm ok but i'm not ok actually... all his cares n encouragement r really helped me lots... Thanks, DAD!!
Mum also keep telling me that i should relax myself n think positively,n remember to pray... Feel much better after talked to mum... Thanks, MUM as well...I tried not to tell them everything coz i know they would worry but at last i told them everything... I made them worry =( Not only my parents,bro, sis n their bf n gf did gave me a call too! I'm lucky enough to have them... At the same time, i feel so shame because everyone knows i cry!! hahaha...

Stress r gone now !! Thanks everyone =)

He was back???

Ya ~ He was back in my dream =( I dreamt about my bro last night... In my dream, We all were at SDK.. We were having dinner together.. The atmosphere is very warm n happy... His smile, behaviour n his jokes accompanied us during our dinner~ But, this is only dreammmmm.... I hope this is in reality =( Tears dropping when i woke up from my sleep n i could not fall asleep anymore ......

I think, i never seen u around 2years b4 u left us... N the last time we talked was through phone... I remember that i was telling u that i hope u will bring ur son(Anson) and Sis-in-law back to sdk n u had promised.. But, u never fulfilled what u had promised until u have another baby girl(averil)... Only few months later, u were left....... Forever n ever......

Almost ten months already... But still, i can't really accept that u won't come back again.... I will think of u during any special day... n i can't stop crying when i knew that i could not see you anymore....

Anyway, i hope u can rest in peace.. Both of ur kids, Anson n Averil r very cute... n they r good boy n good girl too....... Anson know how to call us "gugu" already...I'm so proud of being their aunt.... N ur baby girl Averil know how to kiss us although she only one year old.... She is a smart girl n she really look alike u,bro~ Sis-in-law is fine too...We will visit as frequent as we can ~

U r always in my mind n in my heart as well...... I won't forget what u had done b4~ U loved us very much ~ U r too good to us.... I'm proud to have u~ i think, others too.......

MISS U A LOTSSSS T.T

12-09-09 Rest in Peace

Nice Song ^^

李玖哲 - 不爱了


你的不快乐 在心裡瀰漫著
我们怎麼了
你在逃避著 我在心疼著

是什麼在伤害著 让美好都遗忘了
你是背对的 我是沉默的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何

你快不快乐 过得是否好呢
我这样想著
你在爱谁呢 谁在想你呢

是什麼在反覆著 让回忆都翻起了
你是遥远的 我是孤独的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何

是什麼在伤害著 让美好都遗忘了
你是背对的 我是沉默的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何


Niceeeeee~~~~

20.10.2010

Haih....... i'm alone today...

I went out to have my dinner at 拾八风味 restaurant... wish to call someone to accompany me but no one i can invite so , i take dinner alone... Luckily, There's another girl beside me also eating alone haha... Anyway, I had a great dinner just now...

After dinner, i wish to go cinema n watch "child eye" but the show starts at 8.45pm..It's too late...so , i went to shopping n bought a lace singlet =) Like it very very much ...

n now i have to do my revision because i'm going home tomorrow night n have to attend dinner in Pahang.. i will stay there for 2nights.. So, i have to finish my revision today !!!

I'm bored......Very very very boring......

I wish i can find someone to talk but.......haih....

I'm going to move out soon so i'm alone anymore haha.... I think i will miss my life in this house...

The happiest thing that i want to share is I'm going back to SDk soon haha...

Had a great dinner n shopping although i'm alone here....

♪ I love this song ♪

- 亲爱的你怎么不在我身边-


这里的空气很新鲜
这里的小吃很特别
这里的Latte 不像水
这里的夜景很有感觉
在一万英呎的天边
在有港口VIEW的房间
在讨价还价的商店
在凌晨喧闹的三四点
可是亲爱的
你怎么不在我身边
我们有多少时间能浪费
电话再甜美
传真再安慰
也不足以应付不能拥抱你的遥远
我的亲爱的
你怎么不在我身边
一个人过一天
像过一年
海的那一边
乌云一整片
我很想为了你快乐一点
可是亲爱的
你怎么 不在身边你怎么 不在身边
在一万英呎的天边
在有港口VIEW的房间
在讨价还价的商店
在凌晨喧闹的三四点
可是亲爱的
你怎么不在我身边
我们有多少时间能浪费
电话再甜美
传真再安慰
也不足以应付不能拥抱你的遥远
我的亲爱的
你怎么不在我身边
一个人过一天
像过一年
海的那一边
乌云一整片
我很想为了你快乐一点
可是亲爱的
你怎么 不在身边
你怎么 不在身边

I miss you so much
...........♥♥♥..........

Enjoy =)

I'm so happy n enjoy so much this few days=) I went to my bro's gf house from sat until this afternoon...4days 3 nights.. They bring me to shopping n eat ~ Stress gone when they r here with me... I appreciate everything from them.. Esp Lam... she bring me to visit her college as well... Taylor's college is AWESOME ! I went to their library , computer lab n walking around their college... I spent almost 4hours there n waiting for my 'ah shou' finished her class hehe...

We went home by bus.. Vince was home when we reached home.. We are planning our dinner.. N finally, we had dinner at a restaurant(korean).. Foods n drinks are nice, we enjoyed our dinner so much...

Next, we have a big mission... hahaha... It's a secret n private...haha..finally, we bought it n went home..

Today, i woke at 12pm! after shower, i'm ready to go home .. But, Lam invite me for lunch.. We went to SUNWAY n had our lunch at Full House.. Again, foods there r nice n i'm so full..... hehe... I decided to buy a singlet from MANGO.. N she paid for me..I tried to stop her n i want to pay but she refused to... We went home by bus after that...

Everytime i come home after spending time with bro n gf, i feel so sad...Because i miss them........ n i hate being alone at home... T.T
They treat me like a kid..haha.. Bring me here n there... Try this n that haha... it's tiring but HAPPY

Thank you so much to My Brother, His Gf n Vince too =)

What's wrong with me???

Feels bad today ~ very ~ waist feel pain for whole day because of "Period"... don't want to move n sitting whole day in front of laptop n facing bookssss......... Study all the topics for law p2 tmr.... Only drink a cup of nescafe n hot water today, eat nothing...... don't feel any hungry but pain.... Try to sleep but can't...

Slept at 9pm just now because i'm so tired but F***! I woke at 11.30pm! slept for 2hour 30mins only!! Cant sleep well this few daysss.... n now i starts to study again- sentencing, ADR&Tribunals, PACE n etc...... But , I can't "swallow" anything ~ Not in a good condition seriously....... Have to sit for exam this afternoon at 1pm...now 0010 but i still here ~ I don't know whether i still can sit for my exam later...... I hope i can sleep now!!!!

Try to call some1 but no1 ... Sis , bro , mum r sleeping now i think T.T

- SAD -

It's 4.30am now...But i still cant fall asleep =( i don't know why ..

I sat for my final exam on monday.... For me, it was really worse ... The worst exam ever!! The 1st and 2nd questions i still can answer.... I wrote about 3 full pages but the 3rd one i cant even write one full page... I was lacking of time n i din study much for that chapter coz it has been came out on May/June paper, i thought it would not come out in the same year so.... After came out from exam hall, i feel like wanna cry... I did prepared very very very well for this paper... But why? T.T
I tried to sleep when i get home, but i couldn't... keep thinking of my paper... WORSE... I think that i would fail this paper honestly... haih...... When my dad called me, i cant stop crying and telling him, i did very bad for my law paper just now... I was trying to explain to him.. He din blame me .. But... he keep laughing at me n and said, why r u crying? it's only an exam.. Take it easy .. i feel more bad after listened to what he said... Tears cant stop dropping n i cant say anything anymore.... i din blame anyone but myself...

Mum called me n said the same thing , my sis from singapore as well.... I don't why they can laugh when i was crying .... hahaha ... they want me to feel better n stop thinking about it i think.. but i cannot...... I'm really sad =(

Until now, i cant stop thinking my paper.... Feel so sorry to those who put hope on me..... Sorry =(

I cant sleep well for whole night but crying in the midnight..... I miss my family ... I need my mum's hug..... and i need my sis n bro encouragement ... I need dad to cheer me up .... no ones here, only me .......