新环境新生活

终於搬新家了~很陌生可是比之前住的地方好很多很多~ 人，环境还有生活习惯。 唯一还是不变的就是还是要靠自己，饮食，家务，功课~ 到底这样的生活还要维持多久？ 每天早上六点起身准备早餐，上学，一值到下午五点才回到家。一天要提早一小时出门然后回家也是一样。很累很累。。常常想，为什么别人有家长接送而我每就这么辛苦？不是埋怨只是有时累了，想家了，受諉屈了，眼泪就不禁流下了，不管是在巴士，走路回家的路途就是不能控制~

之前，有个人总会等我回家，听我诉苦，安慰我，陪着我~可是这都是以前的事~ 现在，我不稀罕有个人会这样对我，只希望大家能以朋友的身份问候对方~我在等，我准备好当你的朋友不过你还没~所以，我不想再勉强~

很开心有新的室友相处的很好~ 只是身体从没好过~头痛，感冒，咳嗽~每天吃药还是一样！

应该是睡眠时间不足？不超过六小时一天。没办法时间不够。

很感动爸妈哥姐们的关心~虽然只是电话里的慰问可是这样就足够了~很想你们~谢谢姐买给我的一切。很羡慕看到你们已有能力买你们喜欢的东西~ 去你们要去的地方~很想有一天我也能这样~

不懂为什么明明放下了，可是在特别的日子，时候，那些画面又会从现。

希望慢慢地生活会更好~ 我在努力

only time can prove everything

it has been few months i didn't update my blog... the main purpose that i create a blog for myself is to spread my feelings when i have nobody to talk to... Today, i feel so DOWN...

today is the 3rd day.... i thought i'm okay since last night...but when i woke up until i reached college today, i cant stop my tears again...i don't know why...i accepted his reasons and respected his decision and i was trying to let it go...Families n friends are the one who give me the strength to face this... I heard alots from them...about him,about me n he and also about this relationship...Maybe it's time to end this long distance relationship...

Honestly, i don understand why the ending must be like this? its not supposed to be like this... Long distance love is our choice 10months ago..we started this relationship willingly and we knew that we cant spend most of our time together.. It can take months or years... This is the fact that i know n i think i can wait until the day we really can meet,spend time and live together one day... We are far apart just because we r still young n we have to spend more time n concentrate more on studies... i can understand our situation..Studies will make life better n secure our life..thats why i don't mind to far from him, i think he feel the same before...We tried hard together that time and we had gone through it..Finally, we meet up with each other n spent time together..i had happy moments with him..i thought we can further and we will have a better future...

But, this is only my thoughts... I'm wrong... DISTANCE n TIME become our problem...

only now i know, love means nothing when other factors appeared..Even though,love is still there between each other but still a relationship has to be ended...

he is leaving soon...i don't know if we have chance to meet again in the future.. i feel really sad to lost him... I know he won't change his decision anymore...

Just hope to let him know that i love him so much n never blamed him... I can feel his tears n sadness too... but i just don't understand why we should separate...

letting me go didn't make me live or feel better... However, thank you so much for his honesty and everything that he had gave me... i appreciated it so much...

I hope we can still be friend and keep in touch always...

TAKE CARE AND ENJOY UR COLLEGE LIFE

2days to go

2 days to go........I'm so happy... Keep countdown the day i back to sdk.. I miss my family so much... and my friends ~i've been 5 months din back to my hometown~

Tonight i can't fall asleep again~ Maybe i'm just too full(just came back from Mamak Stall)?? or excited??haha... I don't know

Enjoyed shopping n food here in Subang with Vince & Tze Yi... I tried all the nice foods here... From breakfast to supper... I think i gained lots of weight ^^

Thanks Tze Yi & Vince.. Appreciated all the moments with both of u~ I'm so happy staying with them=)

Nothing much to say haha...

See ya FRIENDSSSS

Sleepless night

Finally, i had completed my first semester in KDU for pre-law program n now i moved back to kepong already... Never ever back to that House-ss2,Pj-... I miss that house so much coz there was the only place i can live for the last few months...

It's 3am now... I could not sleep ... I guess i just miss that room too much n miss someone so so so much....

We din chat much almost two weeks... I think more than 2weeks...Because i was sitting for my exams last few weeks, when i finished exam it's is his turn again........ We don't have much time to chat... He is busy with his revision~

N me, i starts to go shopping n hang out with friends... This is what i waited for long time... But, i still miss him so much whenever n wherever i go... Unfortunately, i can't find him to chat like b4...
I got lots of things to share... I have to wait until he is free....

Sometimes, i feel that we spent too least time with each other... I don't like this situation... But i try to be understandable person.. Exam is important for me n for him as well.... So, i should not disturb him for this 2weeks.. I hope he can focus more on his studies n do well on his exam!

We've been together for 6 months... I appreciated this relationship so much but how about u?? what i feel is we still at the same point,seem never move forward... is this true? or i'm the one who think too much or hoping too much from him?? I hope to tell or ask him... But , i don't think now is the suitable time to ask coz he need to sit for exam...

Sometimes, i do think of giving up this relationship... I don't know why.... Not because of i don't love him.. He is really good.... Only sometimes, i feel so strange with him... Especially when i saw his photos with his friends n his life there....He has a good life there... I feel like we r from diff world... But when i web cam or chat with him, i feel happy n sweet enough.... What's the problem actually?

Never ever tell anyone about this... Because i know this is between me n him... Should i tell him?

Wish to meet him as soon as possible... I miss u... We only have few weeks time to spend with each other... Too short for me... When we can meet again? a year or few years later???

I know that i tell him b4 that i don't mind far from him... n we feel that distance is not a problem for us... n now everything seems diff already...I have no confident on myself... I feel that i will lost him one day... n it seems very soon...

He changed me lots... n i learned lots from him... I realized that toleration n trust r very important between couple esp for those who r far from each other.. During this 6months, we tolerate to each other... Maybe sometimes, i did show my temper to him but one thing for sure, he never did this to me... N forgiveness also important....

we r stable n don't have any couple problem ... but haih.....
i hope to hear from him about me... i wish to improve myself n i want to know what he feel about our relationship...I hope we can maintain..
But i never hear any from him... Are we really good enough now??

Sorry~ If i hurt u when u read this... This is only what i feel ~

I still love u like before n MISS U very much T.T

Although u r busy with ur exams, but u told me that i'm always in ur heart=) N i wish to let u know that u never disappear from my mind .. U r always in my mind n heart ......

-Relieve-

Exams are over !! Went to One U n had dinner with colleagues but quite disappointing coz yulie left me alone there... All my close friends are not there... Luckily, others r very friendly n nice ... I was chatting with them n took some photos.. Although it is a simple gathering but i'm enjoy n happy! I leave earlier because i'm going back by taxi n i'm alone so i can't stay too long... =( Anyway, I'll miss all of them during this two months holiday... Miss ya all my friends=)

Once i reached home, i feel so sick! Headache, flu, coughing n etc... Fortunately, exams r over... I think i should have a good rest... But i still have alots to do! Packing my things n moving out from here! Busy going out with friends too!haih.....
I received dad's call n n he asked me about my dinner n exam just now... What i can say is everything is fine =) After that, i talked to mum about my dinner with friends n i really enjoy it! I knew mum feel happy too! This is because last monday i lost control n cried very hard ~ Mum is the one who accompany me whole night through phone...

This is the 1st time i cried very hard since i was staying alone here... I don't why i can't control my tears that day... I talked to mum about my life during last few months... I keep telling her that i'm tired, i really tired of everything here...Esp without anyone of them here... But i still have my bro who cares me lots... Honestly, i could not focus on study 100% if my life continue like how i passed this few months... I'm glad that no matter how tough it is, i still can get through with it n complete my 1st semester finally... No one knows how my life here, it's not easy to tell by words too...Anyway, I learned alots~ From don't know, scare, cant get use, to Know, brave n get use....

When dad was here, i feel like i'm a little girl again, not the one who can manage her own things n life like before... He is really great n indeed a good father~ Maybe he is one of the reason why i was crying that day... haha... I don't want to stay far from dad even a minute... Even though i back to my house in pj already, n dad in kepong is not too far from pj too, but still he keep calling me few times per day like what he had done when he was in SDK...

Every time i saw his calls, i pretended that i'm ok but i'm not ok actually... all his cares n encouragement r really helped me lots... Thanks, DAD!!
Mum also keep telling me that i should relax myself n think positively,n remember to pray... Feel much better after talked to mum... Thanks, MUM as well...I tried not to tell them everything coz i know they would worry but at last i told them everything... I made them worry =( Not only my parents,bro, sis n their bf n gf did gave me a call too! I'm lucky enough to have them... At the same time, i feel so shame because everyone knows i cry!! hahaha...

Stress r gone now !! Thanks everyone =)

He was back???

Ya ~ He was back in my dream =( I dreamt about my bro last night... In my dream, We all were at SDK.. We were having dinner together.. The atmosphere is very warm n happy... His smile, behaviour n his jokes accompanied us during our dinner~ But, this is only dreammmmm.... I hope this is in reality =( Tears dropping when i woke up from my sleep n i could not fall asleep anymore ......

I think, i never seen u around 2years b4 u left us... N the last time we talked was through phone... I remember that i was telling u that i hope u will bring ur son(Anson) and Sis-in-law back to sdk n u had promised.. But, u never fulfilled what u had promised until u have another baby girl(averil)... Only few months later, u were left....... Forever n ever......

Almost ten months already... But still, i can't really accept that u won't come back again.... I will think of u during any special day... n i can't stop crying when i knew that i could not see you anymore....

Anyway, i hope u can rest in peace.. Both of ur kids, Anson n Averil r very cute... n they r good boy n good girl too....... Anson know how to call us "gugu" already...I'm so proud of being their aunt.... N ur baby girl Averil know how to kiss us although she only one year old.... She is a smart girl n she really look alike u,bro~ Sis-in-law is fine too...We will visit as frequent as we can ~

U r always in my mind n in my heart as well...... I won't forget what u had done b4~ U loved us very much ~ U r too good to us.... I'm proud to have u~ i think, others too.......

MISS U A LOTSSSS T.T

12-09-09 Rest in Peace

Nice Song ^^

李玖哲 - 不爱了


你的不快乐 在心裡瀰漫著
我们怎麼了
你在逃避著 我在心疼著

是什麼在伤害著 让美好都遗忘了
你是背对的 我是沉默的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何

你快不快乐 过得是否好呢
我这样想著
你在爱谁呢 谁在想你呢

是什麼在反覆著 让回忆都翻起了
你是遥远的 我是孤独的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何

是什麼在伤害著 让美好都遗忘了
你是背对的 我是沉默的

我只好假装 我已不爱了
催眠自己我们不适合
我放开你了 我已不爱了
说一个谎在离别时刻
就当作最后是我不爱了
关上门以后 就算爱你又如何


Niceeeeee~~~~